Over 35 million people visit New York every
year, including more than 4 million foreign
visitors. There's got to be a darn good reason
for them to come here in such numbers and of
course, there is: as a tourist destination New York City simply kicks ass.
Almost everything you can think of (except palm trees) is here:
art, shopping, theater, food, music, money, glamour, skyscrapers....
the list goes on (ever listened to David Holmes's "My Mate Paul"?).
As we all know, the key to having a great time while traveling
is preparing yourself with just the right amount of information and
leaving everything else to good luck and inspiration.
If you stumbled upon this site while
doing reasearch for your upcoming trip to NYC, you are already in luck.
Beacause not only can you find some useful information here, but you can
learn how not to look or behave like a tourist (even if you are). By
looking and behaving local, you can have much more fun in the city and
avoid most unpleasantries.
Learn a bit about the city's
layout and neighborhoods.
Nothing gives out
your tourist status more easily than the question Excuse me, can you tell me which
borough I'm in?
Dress code: It's a touchy subject and you should not
let anybody (not even me) dictate what's good and what's
not. However, some combinations of articles of clothing
have been known to produce
that well-known "Midwestern tourist" effect we're going to try to avoid.
Specifically, try not to dress like you did back in your
Pi-Kappa-Alpha (or Alpha-Kappa-Alpha) days. With the
possible exception of the
Upper East Side,
you are unlikely to find any keg parties
to attend here.
Naturally, don't wear T-Shirts or caps with any NYC symbols.
If you've bought
any (which you shouldn't have) and insist on keeping them,
quietly hide them in your suitcase until you're back in Columbus.
Do not go on the boat to Liberty
Island (I don't know a single New Yorker who has set foot there)
and try to avoid the Empire State Building, too. Actually, the
second one is optional, since it is probably worth doing
at least once, but
for God's sake, don't buy anything in that awful store at the top!
Houston Street is pronounced "how - ston", not
like the city, Houston.
Yes, it is spelled like the city, but pronounced like the street.
If you call it Houston (the city), you will be labeled "tourist", then
robbed and mugged on the spot (and rightfully so).
Do not walk in rows of five blocking the
entire sidewalk. Even if you
are a family of five. Two people maximum and that's only
permissible if you're both
walking fast.
In general, you should only try to hail a cab that's
available for hire.
Here's how to tell: look at the lights on its roof.
If all of them are on, it is off duty. Ignore it. If all of them
are off, it has a passenger inside (it's occupied). Likewise,
ignore.
Only if the middle section
is on, while the side lights are off is it available for hire.
When you see one like that, just stick your hand out.
(There is one exception to this rule, but you've really got to
know what you're doing. Specifically, if you are going to the
boroughs and know exactly which bridge to take, hailing an
off-duty cab next to the entrance to that bridge may actually
be a better idea than waiting for one that's on duty and
then arguing with the cabbie. In this
case, you can simply shout your destination to the drivers who
slow down and look at you, and if they live close enough to
where you're going, they'll give you a ride. If they don't
turn the meter on, make sure you settle on the price right away.).
When you take a cab, be sure to name your destination
as an intersection
(e.g. "56th and Lexington", meaning "56th street and Lexington Avenue"),
not as the address itself ("1500 Lexington Avenue"). If you give
an address, you are automatically
a tourist and you'll be mugged and robbed on the spot. Ok, just kidding:
probably, the worst that can happen in this case is that you'll be given a
1-hour-long tour of the city - at your expense, of course.
Don't call 6th avenue the "Avenue of the Americas" or, worse, 7th
avenue the "Fashion Avenue". You will be .... well, you know what will happen.
Yes, yes, on the spot.
Don't go to any "theme" restaurants - "Hard Rock Cafe",
"Planet Hollywood" or any other place like that. You will be
wasting your time, your money and frankly, if you really wanted to go there,
you should have found one closer to home.
If you need restaurant suggestions, check ours first [1], then consider
buying yourself a copy of the "Time Out - New York" guide or
just come armed with a guidebook on New York City. They all have restaurant recommendations.
Don't use your transplanted jargon here: it's not "the T", "the metro"
or "the tube". It's the subway. It's not a "green line", it
has a number - 4,5, or 6. Likewise, it's not a "blue line" -
it's the "A","C" or "E". And, while we're at it, it's not a "line"
at all, it's a "train".
In Manhattan, instead of "going north" you should be "going uptown"
(and, similarly, instead of "south" - "downtown").
Another small thing: at the end of a successful bar crawl,
don't ask your new friend for his/her mobile number. These
things are called cell phones.
DUMBO = an artsy neighborhood in
[Brooklyn] (the
acronym stands for
Down Under Manhattan Bridge Overpass)
Ground Zero = a rather unfortunate name for the
World Trade Center mostly used by tourists
in questions like
"Excuse me, how do I get to Ground Zero?".
Avoid.
GU (pronounced "goo") - "geographically undesirable":
chickspeak for guys who live way outside of Manhattan
and are, presumably, not the right material to be
dating (or even talking to).
If you're a girl of the "Sex & The City" circuit, you
might find this term useful.
Pie = whole pizza
B&T or B&T people = "bridge & tunnel" [people]: those
living in the outer boroughs and New Jersey. Can be
used as an insult. Not to be confused with BLT (bacon,
lettuce & tomato).
To stand/be ON line = to stand IN line (the process
known to Britons as queuing).
Using these tips, you should be able to fool most New Yorkers into
thinking you're one of their own for at least
5 minutes, which is more than enough time to safely move out of their way.
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